He was in his 90s – I never imagined he would sexually assault me
He was in his 90s – I never imagined he would sexually assault me
Life had always felt like a chance to practice, not a trial. I believed if I ever faced sexual assault, I’d confront the person responsible. Yet, when it occurred, I was left frozen, unable to speak, let alone protest.
The man in question, a figure I’d long revered as a mentor, was in his 90s. His presence had been a source of comfort, but that day, he radiated an unsettling confidence. As he stood before me, his lips brushed with a tongue like a lizard’s, as if the act was a quiet celebration of my helplessness.
The Campaign’s Launch
On November 25, 2024, Metro launched This Is Not Right, a campaign tackling the persistent crisis of violence against women. Partnering with Women’s Aid, the initiative aimed to highlight the alarming extent of this national issue.
More stories can be found here, and those interested in sharing their experiences are encouraged to email vaw@metro.co.uk.
A Moment of Reflection
My love for acting began at five, a passion I had postponed for years. By the time I decided to pursue it, my career had taken precedence. However, a growing urgency pushed me to act, and the teacher I admired—a man of advanced years—seemed like the perfect guide. His age, I thought, was an advantage, not a hindrance.
During lockdown, the idea of life being a dress rehearsal became clear. It was then I realized the importance of seizing opportunities, even if they were unexpected. Yet, the teacher’s assistant, a man in his 30s, responded to my emails with an invitation for private lessons, setting the stage for what would follow.
The first session unfolded as anticipated: simple exercises on observation and memory. But as the lesson progressed, he introduced an unusual task. With a calm demeanor, he instructed me to close my eyes and repeat his name when something occurred. When I did, his hand moved swiftly, inserting itself into my jumper. The moment was both sudden and intimate, an act disguised as a routine exercise.
Victim Support offers assistance to survivors of rape and sexual abuse. You can contact them on 0333 300 6389.
The assistant, who had been present the entire time, said nothing. His silence spoke volumes, suggesting complicity in the act. I looked to him for support, but his gaze drifted away, leaving me to question my own reaction. The shame of the moment made it difficult to challenge him, despite the gravity of what had just transpired.
Looking back, I wondered if his behavior was influenced by age or the norms of a bygone era. Still, growing up in any time is no justification for sexual assault. His respected status and mention of his wife during the session only deepened the sense of betrayal.
Though I stopped attending classes, I remained in Los Angeles for a month. A week after the incident, an email arrived asking why I hadn’t returned for my second lesson. The audacity of the teacher’s assumption struck me as both shocking and ironic.
Once home, I felt compelled to share my experience. I spoke of it randomly, triggered by small moments. It was a way to process what had happened, to piece together the violation I had once believed was inevitable yet unprepared for.
