‘I’ve matched with four men on dating apps – they were all scammers’
I've matched with four men on dating apps - they were all scammers
Julie Osgood's battle against online romance scams
I ve matched with four men - After losing her partner of nearly 40 years to the coronavirus pandemic, Julie Osgood, a 60-year-old resident of Middleton, took a bold step into the world of modern dating apps. However, her foray into the digital dating scene quickly turned into a series of unsettling encounters. Within weeks, she had matched with four men who, she claims, were all scammers. This experience led Julie to conclude that she would "stay single" for the foreseeable future, as none of the matches proved to be genuine.
"I'll never, ever go on a dating website again. I just don't know where you're meant to meet genuine people," Julie said.
The rise of romance fraud and its financial impact
Julie's story is not unique. According to figures obtained by the BBC last year, the total amount of money lost to romance fraud cases reported to Action Fraud exceeded £92 million in 2024, marking a significant increase from £82 million in 2023. These scams often target vulnerable individuals, exploiting emotional connections to secure financial gain. Julie, who had spent decades in a stable relationship, was particularly disheartened by the pattern of deceit she encountered online.
She described her decision to join dating platforms as "a really big step," especially after the loss of her partner Tony Donohue, whom she had been with since the age of 17. Her initial optimism was quickly replaced by frustration as each match followed a familiar script. The first three scammers she met on the same app, she said, adhered to a similar strategy, often fabricating stories about their personal lives to build trust.
"They've all been widowed except for this one who said he was divorced, but they all seemed to have teenage daughters who tend to live with their mother," she explained.
AI-generated profiles and the scammer's playbook
Julie noted that the men she matched with had profiles that raised red flags. Pictures of them, shared with the BBC, revealed signs of AI manipulation, such as distorted text in the background. "They all start off with similar stories," she said, highlighting how the scammers used consistency to appear credible. Initially, interactions were normal, lasting for a week or two, but the pattern changed when one of the men claimed to be on a business trip and lost his briefcase, needing help with a financial matter.
After this setup, the scammers gradually began asking for money. "It takes them a few weeks to actually ask for anything," Julie explained. Despite her caution, she said she had to invest time and effort to uncover their true intentions. Each time, she worked out the fraudster's plan before parting with any cash, but the process was exhausting and left her questioning the reliability of online dating platforms.
"I wanted to ask if he would meet for a drink to see if he was the real deal," she recalled. "And it was like 'yeah that would be great,' but then about four days after, all of a sudden, he had to go away to France and I thought 'here we go again'."
A second attempt and the Ourtime experience
After a house move in December of the previous year and the departure of her last child, Julie decided to give dating apps another try. This time, she chose a platform tailored for older adults, called Ourtime, hoping for a different outcome. The shift in strategy seemed to pay off, as she met a man named Franck, who described himself as an architect from France. Although Franck’s story mirrored those of his predecessors—divorced, with a teenage daughter—Julie found him more engaging and believed he might be genuine.
Over the course of a couple of weeks, she chatted with Franck via WhatsApp and eventually proposed meeting in person to verify his authenticity. She said the idea was to "tell if you're real or not real," but Franck’s response was swift and convincing. He then spun a narrative about a court battle over his late father’s estate, claiming the ruling had frozen his bank accounts. "The situation was 'destroying me mentally and emotionally,' he said in messages, setting the stage for a financial request.
"Julie, still playing along, offered to travel to Paris to hand over £20,000 in cash, which she said she had withdrawn to pay for builders," she recounted. "She sent him flight details and they arranged to meet at arrivals, but Julie never got on the plane."
The final twist and Julie's resolve
When the meeting didn’t materialize, Julie realized she had been stringing the scammer along for two hours before he abandoned the plan. She said Franck then demanded her location and hotel room details, accusing her of "lying" about being in France. Despite this, Julie reported the case to Greater Manchester Police, who have since been contacted for comment.
Julie’s determination to expose the scam led her to report the account to Ourtime. In an email shared with the BBC, the service stated: "Our members' safety is our top priority and we aim to create a safe and friendly environment for all users." The platform is now requesting more information from Julie to investigate the incident further. Her goal, she said, is not just to share her experience but to push dating sites to take stronger measures against fraud.
"I'm annoyed because it's four times and I just think 'give me a break,'" Julie admitted. "Obviously they're going to do it to somebody else and somebody else might not be as lucky, and part with a lot of money."
Lessons from Julie's ordeal
Julie’s journey underscores the challenges faced by older adults in navigating the complexities of online relationships. While she initially felt hesitant about joining dating apps, her repeated encounters with scammers have left her skeptical of the entire system. She described her experience as a "disappointment" and a "test of patience," emphasizing the need for more transparency in the digital dating space.
Her story also highlights the role of technology in facilitating these scams. The use of AI-generated profiles, as seen in the photos she shared, demonstrates how scammers can create convincing fake identities. This, combined with fabricated personal stories, makes it easier for them to manipulate victims into sharing money or personal details. Julie’s cautionary tale serves as a reminder that even well-intentioned users can fall prey to these schemes.
Despite the setbacks, Julie remains hopeful that her actions will help others avoid similar traps. She said she wanted to "put pressure on dating sites to take action" and ensure that platforms are held accountable for the safety of their users. Her decision to try Ourtime, rather than another app, reflects a growing awareness of the need for specialized services that cater to older demographics.
Julie’s story is a testament to the resilience required in today’s dating landscape. While her initial attempts ended in disappointment, her willingness to persist—despite the risks—demonstrates her determination to find love without falling victim to fraud. As she prepares to face the dating world once more, she hopes her experience will inspire others to remain vigilant and demand better protection from online platforms.